A Series Of Harry Potter Dramatics
by Samx5
Summary: View the personal lives of young witches, wizards, and teachers and how they can interfere with the most important events in Harry Potter. Rated T just to be on the safe side. Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.
1. Family Affairs

"Draco, I know you are in love with that, _mudblood_, girl for whatever reason, but you cannot be with her!"

"Why Father? She is the love of my life and I deserve to be happy after all the crap you've put me through!"

"She is unfit to acquire the Malfoy name. And she is also…"

"She's also what, Father?"

"She's also… Ugh! I didn't think I'd have to tell you this! It's shameful!"

"What is it?"

"That mudblood granger, isn't actually a mudblood at all. She is your sister!"

"NO! That's impossible!"

"As hard to believe as it is, Draco, Hermione is indeed your sister."

"How is this happening?"

"You see, Narcissa didn't want a baby girl, for fear she would grow up prettier than her, so she gave her away to be raised by _muggles._ It appears she was afraid of nothing, I see now."

"How _dare _you! How dare you insult her!"

"But wait, Draco, I am not finished, for there is another twist. You see, Draco, Hermione is-"

"-I'm not sure if I want to know!"

"YOUR TWIN!"

"Now that, is a load of codswallop! We look nothing alike!"

"Genetics are a mysterious thing, I cannot deny that, but she is your twin, Draco, and you must accept that."

"But… But… I shagged her!"


	2. She's HOT for Him

Why Personal Life Shouldn't Interfere With Work

"I can't love you Severus. I'll never be able to love you."

"Why, Minerva, why?"

"Because, Severus, I… am in love with the Hungarian Horntail!"

**Flash**

A dragon. Of course a bloody dragon! Out of every magical creature in the world, it had to be a _dragon_. The one Harry Potter has to fight, no less. It couldn't have been a unicorn! Unicorns are easier to be rid of. Just end them off to the forest, but no! You can't just send a dragon away; the whole Ministry will be after it!

Severus Snape cautiously approached the dragon thrashing in its cage. There were other wizards around, but they would be easy to take care of. After all, they were just spares.

Severus was close enough to the dragon now to feel the intense heat on his face. He looked the dragon in it's reptilian eyes, pulled out his wand, and uttered the curse that would rid him of the dragon forever. Minerva and Severus could finally be together, at last.

**Flash**

"Minerva, I don't understand, why can't we be together?"

"I've told you, Severus, I am in love with the bloody Horntail!"

"But that Horntail is _gone_! I killed it last night!"

"Lower your voice Severus, no need to cause a scene in front of the children. And you can't possibly have killed my Hungarian Horntail, he's vacationing in Romania."

"What?"

"You killed an innocent Hungarian Horntail, the one that Harry Potter needs to defeat in order to gain admittance to the next task. He can no longer play in the Triwizard Tournament. He must be forfeited."

"Bloody hell."

**Flash**

"I'm so glad my Hungarian Horntail mysteriously died, if it hadn't, I could have been killed!"


	3. Suicidal Tendencies

"Do it. Just end it all."

"You won't do it. You don't have the guts, Crouch."

"Yes, I will. I'm stronger than you think."

"Then why are you debating suicide?"

"My son's a… _disgrace_. I've lost my house elf, and I've lost my mind."

Barty Crouch stood in shadowy depths of the Forest, arguing with himself. He shakily placed the tip of his wand to the right side of his head and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Avada Kedavra."

But right before he finished the curse to end it all, he heard a rustling in the brush and turned his head just so, avoiding the spell. Instead, the shocking green light hit Allistair Moody in the forehead, and he dropped with a thud to the leaved forest floor. Slowly he started to morph into a thinner form. Barty Crouch cautiously walked to the man that had appeared in Allistair Moody's place.

"My son!"

**Flash to the end of the Triwizard Tournament.**

"Viktor Krum is the winner of the Triwizard Tournament!" Dumbledore announced with a booming voice as thousands of students screamed with excitement. The other three Triwizard Contestants stood in the background. Fleur Delacour and Cedric Diggory looked very displeased with themselves while Harry Potter just looked happy to be alive.


	4. Joke's on you, Mate!

"Harry, I have to tell you something. Something that can change our entire relationship."

"What is it Ron?"

"Voldemort… You know how he killed your parents?"

"It's a little hard to forget, Ron."

"Well… What if I told you that Voldemort didn't really kill your parents, and they're still alive?"

"What! Why didn't you tell me before! Where are they!"

"Now, see this is the part that's going to change our relationship forever. You see Harry, I'm not really Ron. I drank a polyjuice potion to look like him. I hid the real Ron in my basement."

"Whoa, _what_! Then who the hell are you!"

"I am your mum. It's your mum, Lily. In an hour you'll see for yourself."

"But… But… You're so convincing as a boy!"

"Yes, yes, I've had practice. Ten years to be precise."

"What about Dad? Where's he?"

"James was actually murdered by the dark lord. It was only I that escaped his killing curse. And you of course, but that went without saying."

"I-I don't understand. I need to sit down… Why did you lie to me all those years? Why did you allow me to be raised by your horrible sister and her vile uncle? Why couldn't you raise me yourself?"

"Because it was always you that needed to defeat the dark lord, Harry. I couldn't have raised you to be as tough as you are today. Maybe James could have, but he's dead. Believe me Harry, I wanted to go pick you up from the Dursley's and raise you myself, but I knew it was for the best. So I just decided to pose as your friend throughout your school years until He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was destroyed. Do you see now, Harry?"

"I suppose… So you're really my mum?"

"Naw, Harry! I'm just messing with you!"

"_RON! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"_


	5. Beauty and the Beast

What was he going to say? Men aren't naturally good at this sort of stuff, let alone Remus Lupin, part werewolf! No matter what he did or said, this situation could not get any awkward. He might as well just get it over with.

"Hello, Dumbledore."

"Please, Remus, call me Albus. I think we're at that point in our relationship."

"You're right, sorry… Albus. I have something important to tell you."

"That you're a werewolf? I already knew that, Remus. And let me tell you, that doesn't hinder your skills in the bedroom area."

"No, that's not it. Listen… It's so strange; I have no idea how this could possibly have happened. But…"

"Come on, Remus. Just get it out. Whatever it is, I'll support you no matter what it is."

"Well, see, the thing is… I'm pregnant. It's yours."

_**Albus Dumbledore died the June of 1997 due to massive shock. He will be missed.**_

"Oh! Phew! Now I don't need to kill Dumbledore! What should we do now, Snape?"

"Let us see if dark lord require your assistance once again."

"No! Why! He's so picky with his tasks. Do this this way, do this that way..."

"You're bound to him, you must do his bidding!"

"Very well..."


	6. Snape's Just Jealous

The Great Hall had suddenly lit up with relief and happiness for no apparent reason. Harry noticed this and looked around with curiosity. At the entrance stood Katie Bell. Now was the time to get answers on who had cursed her. He went up to her with purpose, but she claimed she didn't know who cursed her. Harry turned back disappointedly and saw Draco Malfoy scurry off. He deemed this action as suspicious and followed him, as his friend's eyes followed Harry.

Draco turned some corners and stormed into the boys' lavatory. Harry burst in there as well, but found something no one expected. Draco was snogging Dean Thomas! Harry stood at the door, shock had paralyzed his body and could not take his eyes off this erotic scene. A surge of jealousy swept through Harry as he watched Draco's hands run over Dean's body. Suddenly, Dean opened his eyes and as he spotted Harry, he broke away from Draco. Draco turned around to see what Dean had been staring at. His eyes quickly found Harry's and the three boys stood like that for several moments, saying nothing.

"Tell no one," Draco growled at Harry, suddenly breaking the silence. Harry thought about this request and demanded, "On one condition…"

Several minutes later Severus Snape entered the boys' lavatory in search of Draco, as he was supposed to be watching over him. He opened the door and with a grunt of surprise, saw Draco, Dean, and Harry having a threesome in the middle of the floor. He stood there in disgust as the three boys orgasmed all at once.

"WHAT IS THIS MONSTROSITY!" Severus Snape exclaimed with utter disappointment.

No one knew what to say, so the three put on their clothes hurriedly as Severus declared that Dean, Draco, and Harry would all have detention with him, but on different days, as he didn't want any of them staring at each other with a gooey look in their eyes, and took away 200 points from Gryffindor, 100 from Slytherin.

Harry got mad at Snape for breaking up their love fest, and shouted, "_Sectumsempra_!" At Snape's back as they were walking back to the Great Hall. Snape plummeted to the floor, twitching and bleeding profusely to his death in the middle of the hallway. Harry stood in awe at what he had done, and then ran back to the bathroom to continue the threesome with Dean and Draco, his only two loves.

One year later, Harry and Draco still attended Hogwarts and Dumbledore had passed away from the curse on his hand. The three boys had continued their erotic sex scenes at any time they could.


	7. More Than One Finger is Missing

"House elves have feelings, too! How would you feel if you were forced to do anything… Snape, or Draco Malfoy's father told you to do? And while wearing nothing but a rag!" Hermione Granger nagged Ron Weasley viciously.

"Dobby worked for Malfoy and he was just fine."

"No! He wanted to be a free elf! Just like they should be!"

"Hermione, they like working. It's in their nature and heritage to work. It gives them a sense of pride."

"How would you know? You wouldn't know how a house elf really feels. They're just saying that because they don't want punishment from their masters!" Hermione stomped angrily and a sickening _crunch_ shuddered through the two's ears and lingered darkly in the air.

"Ron…"

"That was Scabbers wasn't it."

"I'm so sorry Ron."

"It's alright. It was his time anyway…"


End file.
